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Thursday, 11 August 2016

Throw Up Thursdays: What's my age again? What's my age again?




I'mma schism the interwebs with my new brainchild "THROW UP Thursdays," where a THROWback I UPdate in a better, more entertaining version of "Reacts." 


This is my old text, in normal, Arial font.

This is my new text, in underlines.

ROCKER GUY BEAUTY PAGEANT
After witnessing the success of the “Hockey Guy Beauty Pageant,” the rockers arrived at my palatial manor late one night or my mom's weeny 1300 square footer, whatever, demanding their 15 minutes. Following their nightlong persuasion efforts on my mom's weeny square footer (I’m just the regular pimp momma, ain’t I …), I decided to grant their wish. To clarify, yes, this is a joke about rock stars gangbanging me (and now, my mom too). I now present the subsidiary “Rocker Guy Beauty Pageant:” 
BLINK 182'S MARK HOPPUS AND TOM DELONGE (Hoppus, left; Delonge, right):

Mark Hoppus describes himself as insecure about ???; if being handsome, talented and wealthy are qualities to be insecure about, then by all means, continue to be insecure. Today, we call this a "humblebrag." You know, what I do on my website and YouTube ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Tom Delonge is immature and childish, and some quotes that have escaped from his mouth can best be described as unbelievable. Remember that time I joked about rock stars gangbanging my mom and me?!?! Yet, he is also lovable and adorable. And I'm ready for the hate.

1 comment:

  1. Throw Up Thursdays: What's my age again? What's my age again?

    I'mma schism the interwebs with my new brainchild "THROW UP Thursdays," where a THROWback I UPdate in a better, more entertaining version of "Reacts."

    ReplyDelete